fever

demam

rest..tido banyak..

batuk..pening..lenguh-lenguh badan

pegi klinik..dpt ubat

makan ubat..ubat pahit

not very best part of sakit is because gotta telan ubat yang pahit like the one that i got..it's antibiotik pulak tu..need to finish it all..haih

but the sweetest part is..sakit is insyaAllah a kifarah dosa..insyaAllah boleh menghapuskan dosa-dosa..astaghfirullah

usually for me..when i'm sicked..it is time for me to bermanja..back home i have my mom..but here..hmm..even to eat or take my medicine..i need to be forced..if not..i won't be eating though i'm hungry and of course won't be taking my medicine

and when i demam..i used to go to the clinics with my dad..and on the way back..he usually will stop at fruit's shop to buy me some fruits..usually apple..or he'll asked me what i want to eat..that answered..the memories that he created will never be forgotten til i'm old..insyaAllah

the words..'you gotta be strong..u gotta forced yourself to eat and take your medicine..'..okay..i'll take it into account..

a week passed

Ketika ketabahan sedang diuji, maka kesabaran adalah kuncinya!

insyaAllah..walaupun ia datang bertimpa-timpa..semoga dapat terus sabar dan tabah

[personal collection] InsyaAllah..allahumma amiin...

last thursday, got a call at 7 something in the morning..got news that my ayah had an accident..that time i didn't know yet how serious he is..and what kind of injuries he had..because my mek didn't get all the info yet...but during afternoon..found out that his left broken ankle was broken..Allah...super dugaan..to him and us all..after some deep thought decided to go back friday night..and have my journey back to perlis on sunday morning..so i only had one full saturday to be at home..alhamdulillah i can take care of him in the ward even just for awhile..on saturday's evening..it was really worthy..cuz i had many first hand experience that evening..that was very meaningful to me..as in the future when he might go forever..so i had those memories to be remembered..

[dari asha] kaki ayah..yg disnap pada sabtu petang

and the previous day..which was wednesday..had a call from mek..she informed me that my grand uncle had just passed away..after some kinda long ill..alhamdulillah i had the chance to pay him a visit during last holiday..so i wasn't feeling so much aggrieved..but..still felt sad with his loss..

it's been a week now..he still warded..how i wish that the distance between kangar and kota bharu is just about one hour journey..how i wish..then..i can go back every weekend to devote myself as a daughter..before my devotion is to be given to my husband..Allahuallah...how i wish Ya Allah


praying hard that everyone can stay strong..him mostly..remembered what he said to me..on that saturday morning..before i went to the bus station..Ya Allah...


syukran jazilan..thank you very much..terima kasih tak terhingga
to those who cares..kepada semua yang mengambil berat...
*kadang-kadang..apabila berlaku sesuatu kepada kita..we can found out which one is kawan/sahabat/rakan*
whatever it is..thanks to all who asked, pray for him..and advising and giving me support to stay stronger..
thanks for that full support too..yang tak terhingga

very special memories plus starry skys

Ya Allah

pandangan terakhir die sebelum berpisah untuk kali ini

siapa yg x sebak

die sendiri pun menahan perasaan itu

tp pandangan itu

tak mungkin aku mampu lupakan

Ya Allah...syukur pada-Mu sbb bg peluang utk aku bertemu die

Ya Allah..Ya Allah

terlalu banyak yang ingin diungkapkan

namun

hanya kebisuan yg dpt dipamerkan

kata-kata itu tak terluah

maafkan saya adek kesayangan kami semua

kami tahu peluang kamu akan sangat cerah di masa hadapan

kerana

Allah s.w.t. berfirman: 

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang kecuali sesuai dengan kesanggupannya."

Al-Quran Al-Karim, surah Al-Baqarah(2): ayat 286

dan

Allah berfirman lagi:

"Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."

Al-Quran Al-Karim, surah Al-Baqarah(2): ayat 216

bersabarlah kamu

semuanya dalam perancangan-Nya

Dia ingin merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik dari ini buat kamu insyaAllah

papepun...

jangan lupakan Dia

Dia Yang Maha Besar, Dia Yang Maha Kuasa

short one

esok ade 2 UAK(ujian akhir kursus-utk subjek wajib shj) iaitu utk BM Komunikatif II & Literasi Nombor..but i'm still at lost..huwaaa.....what am i suppose to do..buat revision mlm ni & tawakal jelah esok...insyaAllah Allah akan tlg hamba-Nya..

hari khamis pulak UAK utk Literasi Bahasa..

last nite after dpt tau rabu & khamis ade UAK, tension jap..jd nye...sy tlh menonton satu movie ye peeps...rase lg tension ade slps tgk movie tu...ade org tu sruh enjoy..haisy..

entah kenapa dr hujung minggu lepas sampai ke hari ini bdan terasa sgt letih..terasa asyik nak tido je..puas menahan mata & diri dari naik ke atas katil & melayan alam mimpi...huh~ am i stress? rasenye tak kot...janganlah jd stress..huhuhu

*Ya Allah..really miss her hug. T.T*

p/s:
       ....hak3~ tomei :x

help me

Allah

please help me to let go this feeling

why i still can't overcome it

that little thing had shaken my faith and will to change

oh Allah

please

even crying can't ease it

'cause

the tears was very stingy to flow down on my cheeks

aren't they feel pity for me?

(ianya sgt menyesakkan dada..tlg lah beri peluang kpdku utk bernafas spt biasa)

i can't be like this

i had to accept the truth that living on earth, i had to go thru many kind of things, bitterness and sweetness

it's not always sweet

i had to taste the bitterness

to feel the sweetness of life again

there are always ups and downs

sometimes we're up, 

but some other times we're down

so that when we're up, we won't forget the time when we're down

and when we're down, we try to overcome it at very best

it is for us to be grateful and manage it properly

and have chill in this wonderful world on earth

'cause we're not living on mars/moon

another dugaan

alhamdulillah

terima kasih Ya Allah

krn memberi dugaan & ujian 

sebegini kepadaku

krn

aku tahu

Kau masih menyayangiku

Kau mahu menyedarkan aku ttg hakikat kehidupan di dunia ini

yg penuh dgn ranjau & onak duri

krn Kau tahu aku sgt2 kuat utk m'hadapi ujian sebegini

krn Kau tau semuanya ttg diriku

even bisikan hatiku Ya Allah

ujian sebegini

tdklah seberapa

dibandingkan dgn ujian2 yg pernah aku hadapi sblm ini

and 

alhamdulillah

aku berjaya m'hadapi ujian yg sblm2 ini

jd

ujian sebegini

aku masih kuat

aku masih mampu utk hadapinya

well~

ujian itu akn mematangkan kita

so

i just treat this one as a test & process to my adultery age

krn

semakin dewasa kita

makin byk ujian yg bakal mendatang

jd

aku harus kuat utk m'hadapi hari yg bakal m'dtg itu

sungguh hatiku gembira dpt b'ckp dgn dia

the love of heart

so long

org yg plg faham diriku sejak kecil

w/pun kadangku punya amarah

tp

takat manaku mahu melepaskn amarah itu

kerna 

syurgaku di bwah telapak kakinya

dia org yg sgt kuat

sgt kuat m'hadapi pelbagai dugaan & ujian

masih lg mampu m'hadapi pelbagai ujian

than dgn perangaiku

tdak pernah melatah dgn perangaiku yg mcm2

sesungguhnya kau ilhamku

tiada hari yg istimewa utk m'jd harimu

kerana

setiap hari adlh hari ibu

Beribu bintang di langit

Kini menghilang

Meraba aku dalam kelam

Rembulan mengambang

Kini makin suram

Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah

Sedetik wajahmu muncul

Dalam diam

Ada kerdipan ada sinar

Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan

Terima kasih ku ucapkan

[Chorus]

Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu

Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu

Maafkanlah oh

Andai lagu ini

Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu

Kau senyumlah oh

Sekadar memori

Kita di arena ini

Kau ilhamku

Kau ilhamku

[Ulang Chorus]

(Kau Ilhamku – Man Bai)

p/s:sungguh hatiku gembira dpt merasai kehangatan kasihnya yg aku tahu tdk akn berhenti kehangatan itu w/pun stlh dia tiada..sungguh aku lega dpt merasai kehangatan aliran sungai kesedihan yg menelusuri pipiku...dan merasai kelegaan..

forgiven

you're forgiven

i know how did you feel

so 

i wanna be a 

considerate person

i don't wanna push ppl anymore

you may have your time

to think about all of it

find the solutions

find the way

but

still

'honesty is the best policy'

please note that

seek Allah

be closer to Him

closer than before

He will always be there for you

will always know your worry, your dilemma,

 what's inside your heart..

so

i guess

i will just wait

for the longed answer that i longed to know

i'll be extra patient

walaupun batu itu sifatnya keras

tp juga blh lekuk/berlubang

stlh 

air tdk jemu2 menitis ke atas batu itu

even the stones can be changed by the droplets of water

so do the heart

how hard your heart is

i'm sure, (really sure) that

it will be soft in the end